American Psycho

Find myself next to the man I could have been. He's in the aisle seat. And we get to talking, about this and that. As best we can: the man I never was, sat directly in front, is shouting to the man he never could be next to him. But anyway, reaching a working volume we discover we've lots in common: same school; same parents; same birthday, though my hair is longer than his is, and he owns a crocodile briefcase. He knows everyone I know; and I know (you know the rest). But then he says he has yet to meet the man he is going to be, to which I reply I had dinner with him yesterday. And he gets agitated - he kicks the crocodile briefcase beneath his seat; he starts staring out the window, interrupting our exchange. And so when he speaks I hear myself in conversation with the guy behind, who keeps answering. Turns out he's the man I never want to be, and the reason he keeps replying is, he's trying out ways to avoid the man he never was sat next to him. So I say to him the best thing to do is tell him the man I am is only a phone-call away. And as I do the phone rings.